Molestation is a major factor in treating HIV infected patients. 64% of the male patients at OASIS give a history of adolescent molestation; 88% of their sisters also have been molested. By molested I am referring to the unwanted and un-solicited sexual advances of an adult on a child. This occurs most often between ages 8 and 14. The most common perpetrator is the mother’s boyfriend, step brothers, older brothers, cousins and uncle. Rarely is it a grandfather or father. It is important to realize that when this occurs, the victim rarely tells his mother…..and in some cases the mother’s actions signals the kids not to say anything. Since November 2016 we had 4 instances where the mother caught her boyfriend with her son….in all 4 instances, she “kicked” the son out and kept the boyfriend. So where does a 12 or 14 yr old boy go for shelter and food in December ?
It is important that we realize that when a kid is molested or raped at an early age, there are subsequent and predictive behaviors… They are often angry, never able to keep a steady relationship, bitter, non-trusting and will often repeat part of the encounter…that is, if the rapist/molestor was single, they will be attracted to single men; if he were married, they often will gravitate to married men….Rarely does the victim tell.. This is true whether the victim is male or female. They tend to think that something is wrong with them. Often with young males they may become aroused and this causes them to have mixed and confused feelings…and often the aggressor will tell them “you must’ve liked it…I saw you become aroused.”
These kids need therapy…and most often they don’t get it…no one knows the cause of their sudden change in behavior. Parents should let their kids feel safe and let them know that they can approach them….if there is a suspicion of molestation then take the kids to a pediatrician or mental health therapists.